Two Tickets To The Gun Show!

Tonight Jesus was injured. Funny, Easter and all. A friend, Hill, opened the door for her and she didn't get out of the way fast enough and her foot got hurt. I ended up comforting the woman more than Jesus because she was so worried and upset.

Jesus is fine but she enjoyed when we examined her foot and cooed.


Going to Owen Sound tomorrow by myself. It will be the first time I will be seeing my family alone. TL will be home and so will TM so I will have back-up. I feel confident, but it is always good to have a plan in case things disintegrate.

I am not and cannot see my father's family. I feel I should. That it is time. But it is simply too much for me to take that on alone too all at once. I still feel very nervous around them. It is hard to throw off the brainwashing. I guess not possible to throw it off. Maybe if I go see TL I can get her to drop in on them with me if she is up for it. I just really cannot go there myself because I am afraid it will unhinge me.

I had an extremely positive afternoon speaking to C. I can imagine working and writing with her one day and I think we both helped inspire eachother to persevere amongst the bleakness of our "field." I really took time to notice how much respect she has for me which is touching. For example, she suggested initially that we meet at the only restaurant I ever eat at which I only mentioned to her in passing last winter. And she asked me if I was going to eat anything before she ordered, once again paying attention to my odd eating behaviour. I did eat. It was out of my pattern but I did it anyway and I am glad for it. We spoke of our relationships, both family and partners, and we had talked. She has recently met someone new and so she is unsure. I spoke warmly of you and she told me how much she really liked meeting and speaking with you at your party.

I feel as though the long distance thing is going really well despite the tech gliches. I think, together, we are really doing a good job. I feel very close and connected to you all the the fuckway over there. It suits our personalities well, I think. Or really, if we have to cope with this trying and painful circumstance, we are well equipped to handle it - both because of what we have created together and who we have made ourselves to be out of less than ideal lives. And it is, as I think I heard you say, also a continuation of how our relationship started with you in NY and me downtown. On a grander scale, of course.

Of course everything needs to be on a grander scale with us...



Star Trek's Synthehol Now Possible