The Real Value of This Book

The Sears Catalog was my only connection to the world outside of my Invermay shag-carpeted pre-fab. I didn't so much look at the clothes, but all the ways I could pose and gaze blankly and dress modernly and gesture to guarantee that I would get in.

The 1980-1986 series of Sears catalogs was one of my maps.
It was also one of the few things, besides All My Children, that my mother and I shared. Our Sears appreciation was one of the few things that made me feel like I had "mother."

Yesterday, for about twenty minutes, I really felt like I was completely ready to see her. Like I understood everything including how much good it would do me to let all this be part of me in a calm accepting way.

That feeling is not entirely gone.