Bleeding Jesus shits in Bloomingdales

Jesus Penis and I spent the day in soho and nolita shopping.

Before I left the hotel this morning the alarm sounded. It was so soft I thought I was just hearing the echo from my morning ipod use. Then a voice loudly boomed that the fire alarm had been triggered. I thought, so lucky..maybe some more attacks. But no such luck. Just a False Alarm.

Even though it is April it was so fucking cold she could find nowhere to go to the bathroom so I took her to Bloomingdales.
In the shoe department, right behind the table displaying the beautiful Chloe maryjanes (the ones with the lovely thick leather bows) she shit. Then, I took her upstairs and underneath the Theory pants that "every woman should own" she shit some more.

Nice work Jesus Penis!

We pressed on through the snowflakes. We perservered for Fashion.

Someone asked me where Church Street was. I gave Bad Directions.

As soon as we hit the meat packing district, the snow broke. Barney's was deserted and the staff looked like kicked puppies. Too bad they weren't because Jesus (in her heat) would have let them fuck her back to happiness.

At Intermix, my staff member KRISTY! loved my shirt:

KRISTY!: Where is YOUR shirt from. ILOVEIT!

ME: Oh. Thrift store.

KRISTY!: That's always the way. I love things I can't get anywhere.

ME: shrug, hefting Jesus: Me, too.

Went into starbucks to get hot water and a woman in there asked me where Intermix soho was.
This time, for fashion, I gave good directions.

Jesuscam of Businessmen sipping coffee beside me as I gave directions:



Despite feeling like the walking wounded because I am visiting the city with Sad today (instead of with the person I miss)I still located urgent fashion finds. In grey though, which is unlike me.





Duke Rapist planning to kill the bitches.

Peep Drinks.

Sometimes the made up meaning is better.