Dr. Sbaitso

You've been away.

Just got back from running to the gym.

Enjoying weights and the sounds of grown men having their testicles shocked with dog collars.

Now I have some work to do.

Cautious worry is escalating up to gnawing fear and then back down again in hot wavelets.

Trying on worse case scenarios based on past attempts so that I don't get devastated:

Me: Hi. It's Chantelle.

Mother: Oh hi.

Me: It's been a while.

Mother: Oh, not really. Sure is nice to hear from you again. But I have to go. I'm pretty busy.

Me: Okay. Good talking to you.

Mother: Bye. (click)

The (therapy) idea is I'm the adult now, she is the sick needy child. I have to cater to her weakness by needing nothing from her.
What I need from her now has to be nothing.


Nothing nothing nothing nothing but a whole different world.