November 1994, Nelson B.C.

Dear Kevan,

I just felt this feeling about me and you that was like nothing. Closeness is funny. I am with someone at this instant who I feel closer to than anyone before, but in most other ways quite distant.

I am slowly learning that instances are all that matter and that building tomorrow is for the insane.
You were in my life for a long time but of matter of only small amounts. I must not want to be treated well. Heart racing.
All this talk takes me to a creek I played in as a child. I caught frogs and stuck pins into the space between their legs and they never even cried.

It is so damned cold outside. It is not the living I despise it is everybody's noticing of my life. I want to live in the floorboards and survive off spilt foods.

I haven't known what time it is for a week.