Divorce and Television

Can't sleep.
Can't eat.

After a backward moving talk with M the X this morning.

He called back and returned to drop off a camera.

Then he called again. To just talk and painfully talk. About: porches on porches, cousin's wedding, cleaning.
What is this for. What is this about. Is it about the house. How should I react.

Then he mentioned a documentary he watched on OCD.
It was my opening to say something real and I told him about mine.
He said that
so many things made sense now. That he had no idea. How could he missed it.

It was so obvious.


He remembered a time when his sister and her husband wanted to move into our basement and
I had "reacted like a crazy person" as though I was dying.

I had no idea my reaction wasn't normal.

No wonder his sister hates me.
Then he told me about his winter depression and his mother and crying.

The thing is, he probably won't remember any of it. I've told him about some of it before and he
completely forgot. But he said that because of the documentary some things started
to be more real to him.

I am glad, after 9 years, I am finally real. For a moment in time.
Thanks again, television.