ONE WEEK COUNTDOWN TO THE END

I tell everyone how stressful things have been, how tired I am. TRUE.

But, of course, no one has time to hear about the silly details.

First there are four things.

You are not allowed to drink coffee so you eat chocolate covered coffee beans instead.

You are not allowed to grocery shop so you eat what is left and create meals that make your stomach heave.

You are not allowed to pack or to stay so you throw everything out.

You are not allowed to have help because you don’t deserve it – the entire mess is your fault and if you get help you will still be making mess instead of FIXING THINGS PERFECTLY.

Next, you split yourself into two. One of you deals with the routine work things, organizing things, outside things and politeness. The other one listens to the commands and then tallies up the anxiety from patently ignoring the commands.

Clean the floor.
NO.

Put the peanut butter on the second shelf.
NO.

Take off your boots.
NO.

Wash the sheets.
NO.

Wash the curtains.
NO.

Clean the computer.
NO.

Put the vegetables in special vegetable bags.
NO.

Turn off the lights.
NO.

Turn on the TV.
NO.

Turn off the TV.
No.

Dust the entire house, there are cobwebs.
NO.

Take of your indoor shoes before entering bedroom.
NO.

Take a decontaminating bath before retiring to sleeplessness in bed.
NO.
YES.
NO.
Okay.

Don’t eat.
No.
Yes. NO. A little.

Run every day.
YES.

Throw everything away or use it.
YES.

Answer the phone (it is X AGAIN).
NO.
Yes.

Move.
No.

Stay.
No.

Fix yourself because you talk in ways that make people confused.
Yes,
HOW.

Constant losing/winning battle.

And I of course I can handle it. Because I am split in two.