ICU Resort and Spa

Yesterday I had an exchange with someone that I did not want to have. That should not exist and I left my body again and I thought about a trip I might like to take.

I enjoy travel but I have never stayed at an all inclusive resort and have no desire to do so.

Or didn’t think I did.

Then I found ICU Resort and Spa in Burritacca Colombia. What they offer is necessarily inclusive. You can’t opt out of anything. And even so, I have made a reservation and can’t wait to go.

Upon arrival you are escorted immediately to a room that looks like what you would find in a typical Western intensive care unit. Before you can drop your hat or your purse they inject you with enough sedative to loosen your knees and they catch you and guide you to your gurney.

They ask you how long you are staying and to count down the days backwards. Hopefully I won’t get past 10. Then, according to your pre-arranged wishes, they hook you up to a certain number of calories a day IV drip and intubate you so you do not even have to breathe on your own. And there, unconscious you remain for the duration of your vacation.

Three times each day a very attractive and scantily clad hotel “orderly” arrives and moves all the joints in your body and gives you a deep tissue massage.

I might never leave.